Saturday, April 23, 2016

Thursday post on Saturday?

Ok, so I missed posting on my target date again this week but I have a good excuse; sort of. I had to take day to the eye surgeon to have his second eye fixed for cataracts. And by the time we got home I was not in the mood to sit anymore. I wanted to paint. I am kind of obsessed with painting right now. It has really been a good thing to have in my life right now. A few weeks ago my eldest sister was diagnosed with primary peritoneal cancer. It was such a shock, one that I still feel, though it is sinking in. I am still having terrible anxiety; heart pounding and feeling out of breath whenever I think about Fran. Painting has been a way for me to escape from that awful reality. The fact that they are selling on Ebay gives me a boost too, knowing that they will be enjoyed by others and not just sit around collecting dust here. We don't need more dust collectors here that is for sure.

Here are this week's paintings. I started a series on water.

I also did two more paintings for my Abandoned series.

I also had a nice distraction from my worry over Fran by going to the opening for the Monson Arts Council art show "Deep". I had submitted three pieces to this show and was pleased that two of the pieces were accepted, especially since I learned that they accepted only about a third of the number submitted. It is a popular show with good prizes. The piece that did not get in was one that I knew was a long shot but that I felt compelled to make. When pondering the theme of "Deep" and what it meant to me I thought about how the deepest thing I know is depression and what that would look like as an image. This is what I came up with; Deep Depression: Beyond Blue.

Here are the pieces that were accepted; first a pencil drawing....

Deeply Content

And a felt wall hanging.

What Lies Beneath.

I was pleasantly surprised at the opening of the show to find that my felt piece had won second place for fiber arts! It was such a good day spending time with a friend, looking at art and a receiving a nice check and accolades. I wish my sister could find a way to get a break as easily. I have to remind myself that this is part of self care and that my being miserable over what she is going through benefits no one. So while I do need to grieve and feel the worry it does not help to wallow in it. And when my heart starts to pound and panic is nearing I will do my deep breathing, or go for a walk or draw or paint, and pray.

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