Such a fight it has been the last week or so, and I am tired of fighting. It has been a very difficult day; following on the heels of several other difficult days. It happens every fall but I never know how bad things will be. I have been trying to 'think positive' and use the skills I have learned after 30+ years of fighting the enemy within. I walked this afternoon to try to get some exercise and boost my spirits. I also wanted to get a photo of a pair of barn doors at the nearby farm. The colors when the sun hits them is gorgeous and I knew the light was going to be wonderful today. The weather outside was such a reflection of what I was feeling inside; clouds, sun, wind, and rain all within hours and sometimes occurring together. The shots came out wonderful (I made them smaller than I usually post so they will not be appropriated without permission). I often feel that I am at my most creative when I have tipped to one side or the other of center.
I had written a poem many years ago during another depression in which I spoke about understanding that without pain we do not fully appreciate pleasure, just as we can not have a rainbow without the rain. I can not remember the exact words right now but I thought how fitting it was to see this rainbow on my walk.
My spirits were lifted,at least for a while, as I listened to the sounds of the resident hawks and eagles crying as they soared in the sky. It seemed as though all the birds were rejoicing that the storm had passed.
I savored the changing light as the sun slid lower in the sky...
...giving way to the night.
The rise of the moon reminded me of how much things can seem to change depending on your perspective.
I will continue to try to keep things in perspective and look for the beauty of life.
Serendipity brought feltmaking into my life at a time when I needed to reconnect with the past and find a way to express my artistic side beyond my rigid dictionary illustration work. The softness of the fibers, the feel of the soapy water, the magic moment when the loose fibers become felt appealed to my unfulfilled need to use my fingers to manipulate the medium. It often feels as though I am just a facilitator for the art, as though the pieces have their own need to be created. There is a kind of conversation that flows from my mind and through my hands into the wool and back again, and during this exchange the questioning mind quiets. My landscapes reflect this sense of peace, creating worlds that invite the viewer to enter and rest in solitude. Through light and shade, the flowing organic lines, and the play of the varying colors the rush and rigidity of daily life falls away. The incredible range of techniques and materials that can be used in felting sustains my enthusiasm and the unpredictability of the way the fibers will blend has encouraged me to let go of the notion that a good artist is one that can render objects that appear realistic. Felting frees my soul.